lifes too short to pretend to hate pop music
mother: is it a boy or a girl?
doctor: *puts baby between teeth* it’s a metaphor
why do porn websites have a +1 button i don’t want everyone to know i actually use google plus
did anyone else have trouble waterbending last night?
yeah so i slept with this dude last night and idk we were chatting a bit during the sexy time and for some reason his birthday came up and i was like “wait 25th of september? DUDE me TOO, wtf thats such a coincidence” and he was like “really? we have the same birthday? are u fuckin with me?” and i just looked down at his penis literally inside my vagina and was like “well technically yeah” and he was like haha nice one and high fived me
i hope iphone 6 is a flip phone
Im such a great friend
Miley Cyrus fan reacts after learning her show in Charlotte, NC was cancelled
i hope when russia nukes us they hit this city first